Oh Guru my guru

Oh Guru My Guru
To some he was like a father figure, to me he was like a grandfather figure. 
I met him for the first time in my dreams and then that very same year I bowed to him in person. He kept visiting me in my dreams right up until I met him. 
Never did I ever think I would meet him. All of the grueling hard work I went through to get to RIMYI was well worth doing sastanga namaskar- full body prostration, to the man who saved me from a mundane life. I didn't care that I was wearing a nice salwar or that girls don't usually bow to the floor in full prostration. When I came up from pranam he said very sincerely 'May God bless you'. 
I had planned out what I would say to him in Marathi, but when the time came he didn't seem to understand my accent. Luckily, he understood ladoo and chocolates and smiled. 
I had always felt his presence was with me, guiding me although we had never met. 
He came often to visit me in my dreams. The day I took over my studio he came to visit it in my dreams, pleased that I had it. 
Heh Pitamah- oh grandfather at a time when my life was full of twisted roads leading nowhere you showed me how to connect somewhere- to the Universe through yog. That yog which has always supported me, lead me straight to your door...quite literally. 
I remember arriving early to upstairs class watching you from the second floor windows, working at your desk. 
I remember watching you that Saturday from the practice hall as you sat reading on your porch. Of course you knew someone was watching you and you looked up right at me, sheepishly I ducked. Embarrassed at my enrapture. 
I remember the last words you said when I was leaving as I bowed my head to your feet and I told you I would be back. "Narayana, Narayana"
Oh guru my guru 
I loved sitting in the library in the afternoons and listening to your exchange with students and visitors. 
I was sad when you could no longer make downstairs to the library and I remember how eerie it was to be there, your presence missing. 
Oh guru my guru
How silly I was when I first came there. I have gained some intelligence since I last saw you, but still I have so much more to develop!
Oh guru my guru
My first visit I came in November and happily on my birthday, Nov. 2nd, put a garland around the statue of your beloved Ramamani, as we share the same birthday. I finally felt at home inside the gates with the Aum, on Hari Krishna Mandir Road, walking down the path, past your house with Pranams to all the statues - Shri Ganeshaya Namah, Shri Krishnaya Namah, Shri Nandi Gai ko Namah, Shri Patanjali ko Namah, Shri Saraswatye Namah...
Last month was the last dream of you. You came to my studio and were pleased at the work I was doing with students. But it wasn't you, it was your younger self. Sitting on the floor in Janu Sirsasana or was it Dandasana? I cannot remember, only that I was confused as to why your younger self was visiting me and why not you with your white hair and grandfatherly self. 
Oh guru my guru
All alone where I live your dreams kept me in touch. 
I feel unsettled now that you are gone, on the verge of tipping a very fine balance. I force myself to practice, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if I will ever meet you again now, if at all just in my dreams.

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